Uninzi lwamaphupha lunentsingiselo, indlela yokuba ingqondo yethu engaphantsi kwengqondo isixelele into ethile, eyakhayo okanye embi. Yiyo loo nto, xa uphupha, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ezona mpawu zibalulekileyo zephupha . Umzekelo omnye usenokuba kukuphupha ngomntu onxilileyo. Ngaba oko kwakha kwenzeka kuwe?
Ukuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba kuthetha ukuthini kwaye ingqondo yakho izama ukukuxelela ntoni, ke siya kukunika impendulo ngokusekelwe kwinto onokuyikhumbula kakhulu. Ziphose kuyo?
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuphupha umntu onxilileyo
Asinakukhanyela ukuba ukuphupha ngomntu onxilileyo, ubuncinane, kuyinto engaqhelekanga nengaqhelekanga. Asinto esifuna ukuyicinga xa silele, kodwa inokwenzeka. Kwaye inyani yile, kwiimeko ezininzi, intsingiselo ilungile : utshintsho oluhle, iindaba ezimnandi, imibhiyozo… Kodwa ayisoloko injalo; inokubonisa usizi, ukwahlukana, okanye iingxaki oziphephayo ezibaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba uqonda.
Konke kuya kuxhomekeka kwinto oyikhumbulayo ephupheni , nokuba umntu onxilileyo lilungu losapho, nokuba umntu onxilileyo uyakusukela okanye ufuna ukulwa…
Okulandelayo siza kukunika iintsingiselo eziqhelekileyo ezisekelwe kwinto oyikhumbula kakhulu.
Intsingiselo yokuphupha malunga nezihlobo ezinxilisayo
Akumnandi ukubona izalamane ezinxilileyo ephupheni lakho (nokuba zihlekisa), kwaye ngaphandle koko, intsingiselo yazo ayilunganga kangako.
Ngokutsho kweengcali, xa unephupha eli, ingqondo yakho engaphantsi kwengqondo ikuxelela ukuba uphoxekile , ukuba uzive woyisiwe, usilele, okanye ucinga ukuba abantu "abanethamsanqa" banokuphumelela ebomini.
Ngokucacileyo, ukuba iintambo zithathwe kwaye injongo iqondiswe, ngomonde, ukunyamezela kunye nokusebenza iziphumo ziya kufezekiswa, nangona kule ndlela kuyinyani ukuba kunokubakho ukunyuka nokuhla.
Phupha ngenxila elindlongondlongo
Masiyivume le nto, umntu onxilileyo akangomntu ofuna ukudibana naye emaphupheni akho okanye ebomini bokwenyani. Kodwa xa lo mfanekiso ubonakala ephupheni kwaye uyinto oyikhumbula kakhulu, ingqondo yakho iyakulumkisa ukuba kukho umntu osondeleyo kuwe "onobuso obubini" - oko kukuthi, akalunganga njengoko unokucinga, kwaye ukuba ubonakala elungile kuwe, usenokuba uyakuhlaba emqolo.
Ngoko ke, sisilumkiso esivela kwingqondo yakho engaphantsi kwengqondo ukuba uqaphele . Kodwa asikuko oko kuphela kwentsingiselo.
Enye intsingiselo ekufuneka uyiqwalasele inxulumene neengxaki zosapho okanye ukungathembani. Ukuba ezi ngxaki zisonjululwe, izinto ziya kukulungela, kodwa kufuneka kuthathwe amanyathelo.
Phupha inxili lindileqa
Amaphupha ngamanye amaxesha ajika abe ngamaphupha amabi, njengokuphupha indoda enxilileyo ikusukela. Intsingiselo yawo mhlawumbi yeyona ikhethekileyo kuba, kwingqondo yakho engaphantsi kwengqondo, loo ndoda inxilileyo ikusukelayo nguwe ngenene . Ukuziva unetyala, iintlungu zakho, ezo zimo zengqondo zimbi… Ngamanye amazwi, “wena” ongafuniyo ukujongana naye kuba uyazi ukuba wenze into engalunganga.
Yiyo lo nto ubalekayo asuke akulandele, kuba ingqondo yakho iyakulumkisa ukuba awuzubaleka umphelo kodwa, ukuba uyafuna ukuyisombulula, eyona nto ilungileyo kukujongana nayo.
Phupha umntu onxilileyo ofuna ukuqhuba
Kubomi bokwenene, umntu onxilileyo ofuna ukuqhuba akakho ngqiqweni, nangona sisazi ukuba oko kwenzeka izihlandlo ezininzi kunokuba besingathanda.
Emaphupheni, i-subconscious yakho ikuthumela umyalezo wokuba ufanele uphulaphule abanye . Enyanisweni, izimvo zabo, iingcebiso, iingcebiso, kwaneengcinga zabo zinokukunceda kwaye ziphucule ubomi bakho. Kodwa ukuze wenze njalo, kufuneka ubavumele bathethe.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuphupha umntu onxilileyo othetha ngokungahambelaniyo
Kukho iintlobo ezininzi zabantu abanxilileyo, kwaye kule meko, omnye wabo usenokuba loluhlobo oluthi, xa lunxilile kakhulu, luqale ukuthetha izinto ezingeyonyani, lulahlekelwe kukulawula iimvakalelo zalo, njalo njalo. Ukuba uphupha ngomntu onjalo, ingqondo yakho engaphantsi kwengqondo ikulumkisa ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngawe.
Ngokuqhelekileyo inxulumene ne-ego, ngaloo ndlela yokuzibona wena ngaphezu kwabanye. Kwaye luphawu lokuba kufuneka ujonge ukuba isimo sakho sengqondo kwabanye sanele okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, kufuneka usitshintshe.
Phupha amanxila esilwa
Xa into oyikhumbula kakhulu ephupheni lakho liqela labantu abanxilileyo besilwa, ingqondo yakho engaphantsi kwengqondo izama ukukuxelela ukuba awuqinisekanga ngecala oza kulithatha ubomi bakho . Singathi abo bantu banxilileyo bamele indlela oziva ngayo ngaphakathi, bejongene neendlela ezahlukeneyo kodwa bengaqinisekanga ukuba bakhethe bani ngenxa yezinto ezilungileyo nezingalunganga. Nangona kunjalo, injongo yakho kukuphila ngoxolo, kwaye ke ngoko ufuna indlela eya kukuzisela uxolo.
Enye intsingiselo yokubona abantu abanxilileyo besilwa emaphupheni akho luphawu lweengxaki, iingxabano, kunye neemeko ezimbi ezinokungena ebomini bakho , okanye esele zikho, kwaye ezenza kube nzima kusapho lwakho, emsebenzini, okanye nakwimeko yakho.
Intsingiselo yokuphupha inxila egabhayo
Ukuphupha umntu onxilileyo ehlanza, ngaphandle kokuba yinto enyanyekayo, yenye yeephupha ezinzima kakhulu ukuzitolika kuba eneneni zinentsingiselo ezimbini : enye elungileyo nenye embi. Kwaye ngaphakathi kwezi, kukho umahluko emibini kuxhomekeke ekubeni utshatile okanye uthandana, okanye awutshatanga.
Phakathi kweentsingiselo ezilungileyo ezinxulumene nokutshata, ibonisa ukuba uza kuba nexesha lolonwabo nolonwabo . Ayichazi ukuba uza kuba nexesha elingakanani, kodwa iqinisekile ukuba izinto ziza kuhamba kakuhle kuwe, kubomi bosapho lwakho, nasemsebenzini.
Kwelinye icala, ukuba awutshatanga, eli phupha lingabonisa ukuba kukho umntu okhethekileyo oza kuwe onokukonwabisa kakhulu . Kodwa lumka, kuba ukuba awumphenduli lo mntu, ulonwabo lwakho lusenokungabi lude.
Phakathi kweentsingiselo ezimbi, ezi zinxulumene nokudakumba, iingxaki ezingekasonjululwa okanye esingafuni ukuzisombulula, ukungabi naxesha lomntu… Nangona oko kungabonisa oku, asinto eya kuhlala ngonaphakade; ukuba umntu uyakwazi ukujongana nezi ngxaki aze azisombulule, okanye ubuncinane azame, izinto ziya kutshintsha.
Sele unaso isikhokelo ukuze, ukuba ukhe ukhumbule ukuphupha umntu onxilileyo, unokubona ukuba kuthetha ukuthini kwaye uyilungise ukuba ayilunganga, okanye uzame ukwandisa elo xesha lethamsanqa elisaza kufika. Ngaba wakha waphupha ngalo mfanekiso?
