Uluhlu lwethu lwamagama aqala ngonobumba u-N luza kusinika zonke iinkcukacha ezifanelekileyo esizidingayo ukuze sitolike amaphupha ethu. Into nganye okanye isenzo sikhona ukuze sizise intsingiselo kuyo yonke into eyenzekayo kufutshane nathi.
Ngokuqinisekileyo ukulwa kwethu ukufumanisa ukufumana inkcazo nganye yeemvakalelo zethu, kwaye ukuba asazi ukuba singahlalutya njani iinkcukacha kwaye kusibangela ukuba singafumani ukuqonda. Ngamazwi afana nempumlo, mnyama, orenji, ubusuku, abantwana ... baya kusinika loo ntsingiselo ukuba ukhangela uluhlu lwethu.
Kwintlalo yanamhlanje, siphila singqongwe ziinombolo ekufuneka sizikhumbule: inombolo yethu yefowuni, iinombolo zabahlobo bethu, usuku lokuzalwa, itikiti lelotho esilithengileyo xa siphumelela. Ke ngoko, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba namaphupha ngamanani , ingakumbi ukuba ungumntwana kwaye uneemvavanyo zezibalo, okanye ukuba kufuneka usombulule ingxaki enzima apho ungafumani zimpendulo zilindelekileyo. Kweli nqaku, ndifuna ukuchaza ngokweenkcukacha ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuphupha ngamanani.
Amaphupha ngokudada ngamanye amaxesha avelela ngokungacwangciswanga kwaye anokwenzeka nakubani na, ngokubanzi ebonisa imfuneko yokuqaphela indlela umntu aziphatha ngayo. Ukudada ngumsebenzi womntu ovulelekileyo kwiindlela ezininzi zokutolika. Kwihlabathi lamaphupha, abo badada rhoqo bathambekele kakhulu kolu hlobo lwamaphupha, njengabo banedama lokudada okanye abaya elunxwemeni. Unokufumana eli phupha lingaqhelekanga okanye ulidibanise nento osandul’ ukuyibona.
Nokuba yintoni na, uza kuphupha ngento ethile, nokuba awuyikhumbuli, kwaye loo ngcinga eveliswa kwingqondo yakho inentsingiselo enokutolikwa . Yingakho namhlanje ndibhala eli nqaku malunga namaphupha anxulumene nokudada kunye nazo zonke iindlela zokutolikwa ezinokwenzeka kuxhomekeke kumxholo wephupha.
Ukuba usandul’ ukuphupha ngomntwana kwaye ungazi ukuba umchazele ntoni, ungakhathazeki, ndinesisombululo: kweli nqaku, ndiza kutyhila oko kuthethwa kukuphupha ngabantwana . Uninzi lwexesha xa siphupha into ethile, sifanele siyichaze ngaloo mzuzu kuba inxulumene nesiganeko esikufutshane nelo xesha. Ngaba wakha waziva ngathi ufanele umkhulule umntwana wakho wangaphakathi ? Njengokuba kufuneka ubuyele ekuziphatheni ngendlela owawuziphatha ngayo ebuntwaneni bakho, ngaphandle kokukhathazeka?
Abantwana ngokubanzi bafanekisela ubumsulwa, ulonwabo, umoya wokungakhathali, nothando ngayo yonke into. Kodwa ukuphupha ngabo kunokuba neentsingiselo ezininzi kuxhomekeke kwimeko evezwa yingqondo yakho. Umzekelo, ungaphupha ngomntwana owonwabileyo, usana olusandul' ukuzalwa, umntwana okhalayo, umntwana ogulayo, okanye nomntwana ofileyo . Ngaba umntwana umhlophe okanye umdaka? Ngaba umntwana ucocekile okanye ungcolile? Ngaba umntwana usisityebi okanye ulihlwempu? Umxholo ngamnye utolikwa ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Funda ngazo zonke ngezantsi.
Iingcali zamaphupha zidibanisa amaphupha ngekhephu neentsingiselo ezithembisayo. Uhlalutyo lwengqondo luchaza njengophawu lobunye bentsapho (ngenxa yeKrismesi), ubunyulu (ngenxa yombala omhlophe weeflekisi), kunye nokuhlaziyeka kwengqondo (ngenxa yobushushu bayo). Ukuba ubukele ifilimu engobusika apho abantu ababini abaselula badibana khona baze bathandane eNew York, ukuba likhephu kufutshane nekhaya lakho, okanye ukuba ulibonile kwiindaba, akukho mfuneko yokubeka intsingiselo engaphezulu kwiphupha, njengoko sele ulibonile ngeemvakalelo zakho. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ingqondo yakho izenzele umfanekiso wekhephu ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo, ngoko ke izizathu zisenokuba zahlukile kakhulu.
Khumbula ukuba ukuphupha ngekhephu kunokuba neentsingiselo ezininzi, kuba ukubona iikhephu zisiwa kusasa ebusika obumnandi akufani nokuphupha i- avalanche igquma indlu yakho . Kungathetha nesaqhwithi, ulwandle olukufutshane lugcwele umkhenkce, kubanda kakhulu okanye kushushu, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha likhephu letshokolethi! Masihlalutye zonke iimeko ezinokwenzeka inyathelo ngenyathelo. Ngaba ungaphakathi?